Tuesday, August 7, 2012

But What Of Beauty


I AM UGLY, DON'T I KNOW THAT BY NOW?
I AM UNWORTHY OF ALL YOU HAVE GIVEN TO ME.
I NEED TO SHUT MY MOUTH, AND NOT SPEAK TO YOU, AS I NEVER HAVE ANYTHING
GOOD TO SAY.
I LOOK TERRIBLE WHEN I GO TO THE GYM, AND I LOOK LIKE A MAN WHEN I AM
BECOMING STRONG AND TONED...
DON'T I KNOW HOW TO GET IT UP FOR YOU? CAN'T I AT LEAST DO THAT RIGHT?
ALL THAT I AM HERE FOR IS TO ASK YOUR PERMISSION... TO BREATHE...
YES I FINALLY SAID IT... TO BREATHE. 
I HAVE NO CHANCE AT EVER FINDING ANYONE TO WASTE THEIR TIME CARING FOR ME...AS CARING ABOUT ME, WORRYING FOR ME, AND JUST STANDING BESIDE ME IS
SIMPLY NOT WORTH ANYTHING...
CAN I NOT GET THE HINT, DO I NOT UNDERSTAND, I AM A POSSESSION, AND SIMPLY
THAT...
SOMETHING YOU TOOK FROM AN ALLEY AND BROUGHT INSIDE, BUT EVEN A KITTEN
HAS MORE RIGHTS... 
I WAS NOTHING BEFORE I MET YOU, AND NOT A PERSON IN THIS WORLD WANTED TO
HOLD ME...
I WAS NOBODY IMPORTANT, AND WHO WANTS SOMEONE THIS UGLY?
I AM CURVY IN THE WRONG PLACES, AND WHO CAN STAND TO LOOK AT THIS FACE?
MY LIPS ARE TOO BIG AND FULL FOR YOUR GRACE.
DON'T I SEE HOW YOU DESPISE ME, REJECT ME, AND SUCH?
THE PROBLEM WITH EVERYTHING I HAVE SAID SO FAR IS JUST ----
I KNOW OF A GIRL, SHE HAS THE HEART OF A SERVANT, EVER JOYOUS AND FULL OF
LOVE... 
I KNOW OF A GIRL THAT MIGHT BE CURVY, BUT REFLECTS HER LORD UP ABOVE... 
I KNOW THAT WHEN I AM ALONE, WITHOUT YOU AROUND... 
GUYS DON'T SEEM TO VOMIT UPON SEEING ME, AND THEIR PANTS SEEM TO ALWAYS
TRY TO FALL DOWN...
MAYBE THAT IS WHAT THE UGLINESS DOES TO A MAN?
CAUSE HIM TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE, AND TRY TO MAKE ME LAUGH?
WHY WOULD THEY WANT TO TALK TO ME SO OFTEN IF I AM UNWORTHY OF VOICE?
AND HOW IS IT THAT WHEN MY JOB IS GREAT, SCHOOL IS REFRESHING, AND GOALS
ARE BEING WORKED TOWARD... THEN IT IS NOT YOUR CHOICE... 
TO SEE THAT I AM "TOOK CARE OF", THAT I CAN BE STRANDED IN THE RAIN... 
NO HELPING HANDS ARE EVER OFFERED FROM YOU, STILL I GIVE YOU HELP ALL THE
SAME... 
THIS MAKES ME SMILE, KNOWING ALL THESE TIMES PAST I HAVE RISEN ABOVE...
AND TO THINK THAT THERE ARE OTHERS WHO HAD A CHANCE BEFORE AT MY LOVE... 
THE TOUCH THAT I CAN GIVE THEM, THEY NEVER GET THOSE CHANCES ONCE MORE... 
TO GO BACK IN TIME AND SLAP THEMSELVES TRYING TO FIND... 
SOME WOMAN WHO IS REAL, IN THEIR FACE, MAKING THEM FEEL PLEASURE,
LAUGHTER AND JOY.
I CAN'T STAND ANY DRAMA, STRESS, AND CONTROL.... 
I DESPISE WHAT I HAVE BECOME TO BE YOUR TYPE OF BEAUTIFUL.

"But What Of Beauty" Written By Kai Peek (AKA SHAE D AMORE ;) )
(written April 28, 2012)

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